Just An Update

Dont get excited people, this isnt a proper post. For all those people, who like myself cant understand how facebook works half the time, I thought it would be a laugh if I posted some of the best pictures from the weekend that really do sum up 'GNARLEHY SHIET'. Thanks to all the fags who took the photos, our lives are better with cameras.

SNFU

For those who like skating and eating shit.

I started skating around 2003, fucked if i know how long ago that was. All i remember is me and my friends use to ride push-bikes, flash our asses at cars, play fight, wear boots and chew our sleeves. Then one day my best friend bought a skateboard and I was like "what the fuck is that" he said a skateboard and I told him he was gay. He'd skate behind me wilst i was on my bike, skate in my kitchen, skate by himself, skate when fucking ever.

After awhile i realised how dope it was and stated skating my self. We lived in the shittest town ever to skate in, the skate park was full of large coping and dero's with knives, and the best street spot was a four stair with a drop and gap next to it. We skated every day, just eating shit, learning to kick flip, ollie a gap whatever. It was way too hot to skate in the summer, so we'd start at 630 and get home at 1230 or 1, just to watch jackass at one of our mates house.

Those were probably the funnest times of my life, just being filhy 12 year old skate rat.

The band SNFU reminds of those filthy good times. Cutting the sleeves of your flip skateboards t-shirt, geting some old dude to buy you a six pack of jimies, falling of a ledge and hitting your head so hard you cant remember shit but you can see the bone of your pinkie finger. Any one who is into the skate-punk thing should definitly check these guys out, and if your getting into it, this is were you should start as they a one of the mothers who gave birth to it.
These guys are fucking fucking fucking rad.
http://www.myspace.com/snfuband

Their coming to melbourne as well, july 14th, the arthouse.

zonic yoof.

we here have decided to put a litta bitta musak on this blog because we honestly got nothing else to really put here. i mean we do maybe 2 posts a week? only if your lucky. and if we can be fucked. we'll bring this shit along with our other pointless miserable crap just so you cunts can at least get something out of this. any of you MOMENTARY folk feeling like we're copying you then we will make fal will fight you. okaay??



i like sonic youth. a lot. the chick is hot. i'd bang her. not realy she's old and wrinkly and shit. maybe back in the 80s. i'd totally do the other chick who guests in this song. she still bangin. this song is about a manson murder or something it's got dead bodies in the clip which is cool and hardcore. the song is from there third album Bad Moon Rising. download that shit don't buy it HAHAHAHA SUCK A FAT PENIS COPYRIGHT.

if you liked that too much than this will probably be a waste of time because its a waste of mine writing it. the fucking financial report. i hate this shit.

i had an idea after this weekend. i bought these mints right and there all small circular shaped and white. i think i'll sell them to purple mo-hawked muzzas and say they're pingaz. take that cunts. make them real expensive and shit. then i'll buy porn and never leave the house yeah. fuck the financial report.

PEEP SHOW

You know something amazing is sure to happen when your in a tribe of 15 horny boys with their boners half flopped out searching for a 2 dollar peep show eating maccas on lonsdale street in MelVegas, AFTER leaving a fully banging club where the beers are cheap and the bitches are swinging, AFTER drinking numerous cocktails named SANDRA SULLY and BRANGELINA, WHILST watching the big kahuna skull the backwash of 10 peoples different drinks. All this only hours BEFORE getting buck wild at a seperate party, filming Gackson be Golum on your camera phone. And this amazing something that DID in fact happen, was a really fun weekend. Peace.

I hate Everyone and everythinbg everything is gay you suck fuck you i dont like you please eat nuts roast cookem put em in a stew fucken piece shit cu

Blogs are gay. No qeustions about that. There "hom az" as one fellow bloogers said, and well i dont have code nam for him Liam said they gay. Sheell give it a bad rep aye fuckjer. Eat my Dick Please.
My riddle for you today.
If you are geting a gobbie in a car and by chance that car crashes and the girl or dude bites your willie off and you die.
If you are driving a car with a girl and the car crashes and you die.
Which is better, dying wilst getting a gobbie but with no dick. Or dying with dignity and a dick.
But please this in mind, if you die wilst getting a gobbie then the girl will die with your willie in her mouth FUCK YEAH

Shits About to get Karazee!

It has come to my attention recently that, on cuntbook, over the next month or there abouts is 2341233123 events. All these events involve every filthy piss head party boy i know, and involves them, well, being the filthy piss head party bOyS they are. I can see many sleepless nights, alcohol poisonings and the odd person quenching their thirst from the nash toilet bowls ahead. But in NO way are any of those necessarily bad things. Maybe the poisoning is a bit rough. Maybe. But fuck it. Going to keep blogging, even if complete utter trash is what your reading now. 

PS. JACK JOHNSON GOT HIS P'S.

...and now, the financial report.

you may remember back when i first signed on to this piece of gnarley shit i was fresh faced blogger new to the entire shindig. as part of my contribution i was to include a financial report ...and i never did one. some may be cranky about this, none more so than our boss (who isn't dead or moving blogs. he's here to stay!) who gave me a good yelling and brutal poking about it today. so here it is. the financial report.

i currently have no job at all so money isn't something i get to see regularly. every 2 weeks my lovely mother gives me $10 to rip up the town. thanks mum, i may be able to get a whole 3 quarters of a six pack on that. now recently mum hasn't been giving me my 10 buckaroonies for about a couple of weeks now. kinda gay. DON'T JUDGE MY MUM ASSHOLES. even with the ten bucks which get me a little booze, i get by my weekends by scabbing goon, asking for ciggie drags and wandering into doobie circles. i'm so cool.

however, things have changed recently. for one thing, mumma started giving me 10 dollar bills yall again. WEOW getting drunk on friday. but on my saturday hangover something far more beautiful happened. some of my familay came own for lunch. at the time i didn't know that they were down 2 weeks in advance for my birthday. they all together gave me $90. WEOW getting drunk on saturday.

with one third of the 90 gone and another 10 on the way means sweet sweet sweet, but i am looking for that job that will multiply the sweet by X8. sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet. maybe i'll get some darts and pose like a sick cunt and then start a fight with a fuckin metro because i can pay for beer bottle to stab cuntz with. sweet sweet sweet.

The Fun Tun Tingle Times!

Ive came to a few realisations over the past couple of days, the one that sticks out in my mind the most is what you do when you get home from school, during a spare, is not rip a bong, think about what shit your gonner push into the toilet, but in actual fact you go straight for the computer and look up porn.
Now dont be shy lads its all natural to give the one eyed snake a beating, specially if theres some fine arse moe bring her tang into action on the screen.
Spicing things up can be a tricky wicky so next time your looking at porn dress formally, look up bi sexual on tiavas and listen to "Hybrid Moments" and kaboom fun tun tingle times untill you spoof all down your gooch.
Amen and thank god for redtube, tiavas, porn tube and zoo tube for the freaky faggots

See You Buddy

Over the last few days, GNARLEY SHIT has suffered a few minor setbacks. With the shock loss of one of our many memorable contributers, and the CREATOR of this faggety blog, our many other bloggers had to take a look in the mirror and take a day or so to really assess our options. haha not really. This blog is like, what, 2 months old? And every post just talks shit about facebook and j-walking. So, i think us here at GNARLEY CUNT will continue talking trash about shit and j-walking, and let our good friend and colleague who is sadly departing go and venture into other blogs. Let him talk trash about the Iraq War and other piles till his hearts content. Let it be known though, that this unfortunate event will do nothing to damper the spirits of the blog. We will continue to bash your brain to shit with line upon line of un-intelligent, meaningless cod, so fuck you NAKED TRUTH, fuck you real good. GNARLEY SHIT is gonna dress the truth in jeans, a shirt, a parka and all the scarves and beanies it can find!

"Hi, Can I help you?" "No, I just waited in line for 15 minutes to say hi."

yet another facebook group that invokes hate within everyone except the socially retarded and abscent minded has hit the net waves. "Hi, Can I help you?" "No, just waited in line for 15 minutes to say hi." is the most recent offender and by far one of the worst. so far i have seen 6 people join this group. all 6 of them are officially assholes. imagine if you will that you are at your job. your job is at mcdonalds. it is at around peak mcdonalds customer time (so about 6 or 7 or something i don't fucking know) and there is a big fat line. you have to serve all these people and give them a satisfactry level of service. this includes having a nice smile on your face and politely addressing customers because if your don't do this the boss will fire you and you'll have no money to buy all that porn you want. now imagine during peak mcdonalds customer time, some self rightous snot-nosed desmond fuckstick is your next customer in line. you say: "Hi, Can I help you?" then the little cunt says: "No, I just waited in line for 15 minutes to say hi."
i honestly don't care whos watching, i'll jump over the register, pin the motherfucker to the ground and take a fucking massive shit in there fucking mouth. then i'll piss up there fucking asshole. not before i get the rest of the mcdonalds crew to lay some fucking bukaki on the motherfucker.
why is it that facebook groups and pages are so emo and just straight up gay? occasionally you might bump into one that isn't gay, very true and possibly unique, but too many are just retarded. this probably won't be the last you'll hear of shitty facebook fanpages and groups here so heed the warnings. Jizzy P out.